elvenavari: (Jaspeth3)
[personal profile] elvenavari
Title: Don’t be Still
Author: [livejournal.com profile] avari_maethor
Summary: Jasper and Seth must say goodbye to their first born.
Rating: PG
Warning: Angst, death.
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or the character of Caleigh, she belongs to Starry-nights88 from her “Imprinting” series.

He had Jasper’s nose and lips but those cheekbones were all Seth. The little hair he had was blonde and shone in the afternoon light that streamed through the windows. Seth traced a gentle finger around the little face, over his nose and lips. A tear fell, landing on those lips that were tinged a light blue. He was so cold.

“Seth,” Esme said softly. “It’s time.” When he looked up and met her eyes, her heart broke a little more. There was such sadness and heartbreak in Seth’s brown eyes. He stared at her for a moment, as if he didn’t comprehend her words, but then he nodded and looked back down at the still baby in his arms.

“Time to say goodbye…when we never even got to say hello,” he whispered. Then he kissed the cold forehead and let her take the still baby from his arms. Jasper appeared moments later and helped Seth stand, it had only been hours since the traumatic experience but they couldn’t wait. Seth gripped Jasper’s hand tightly before he turned and buried himself in his husband’s embrace. “I don’t know if I can do this Jazz…”

Jasper hugged Seth tightly. “I know darl’n…but it has to be done.” He motioned for Esme to go on without them; they would be along in a moment. She nodded and silently left the room, closing the door behind her.

When the door closed, Seth let out the sob he had been holding back, his fists tightening in Jasper’s shirt. “It-It’s not f-fair!” He cried.

“I know.” There was nothing else Jasper could say. He couldn’t cry, as badly as he wished he could right now. His heart was breaking just like Seth’s, their feelings fed off each other, neither trying to protect the other at the moment as they usually did. It wasn’t fair that they had tried for so long to have a baby and when they finally did…he was born…dead—a still born with no chance of ever having a life where he would be loved by his large family. And now, just hours later, they were having to bury him. They didn’t have anywhere to keep the tiny body that wouldn’t take a lot of explaining or was simply too barbaric.

A soft knock came at the door and Jasper’s arms tightened around Seth once more before he released him. He reached out and cupped Seth’s cheek, his thumb brushing the tears on one side away. “I’m sorry we can’t stay here…but we shouldn’t and Carlisle wouldn’t let you stay alone so close after surgery.”

Seth took a deep breath and nodded. He wiped his remaining tears away and stepped away. “Let’s go say goodbye Jazz.”

-x-


Jasper stopped his truck behind Emmett’s Jeep, put it in park and then turned it off. For a moment he just watched the rain pour down in sheets over the windshield but then he looked at his husband. Seth was also staring out the windshield but Jasper doubted he saw the rain. His phone vibrated in the cup holder and he picked it up.

Probably not the best idea for Seth to get out in this. We have umbrellas if he insists. Ever the doctor, Carlisle. But he was right, Seth was still recovering from the birthing process, even with his accelerated healing, it wasn’t a good idea for him to get out in this rain.

“Darl’n,” Jasper said softly, laying his hand on Seth’s. “Do you want to get out?”

Seth blinked slowly, swallowed hard, but then shook his head. Jasper squeezed his hand and nodded.

“Just roll down the window and call out if you need me.” He waited for Seth to nod again before he let go of Seth’s hand and got out. Jasper was soaked in moments. With a sigh he walked away from the truck.

The rest of their family had already gathered in the clearing, some holding umbrellas above their heads. Emmett held a shovel, which he put into the wet ground as Jasper joined them. Edward and Jacob held the small, wooden…coffin…between them. Jasper stared at it until an arm laced through his own. He looked down and found Alice looking up at him with sad eyes.

“It will be okay,” she said softly.

Jasper’s eyes went back to his truck; he could just barely see Seth’s blurred form through the rain. “Will it?” He whispered.

Alice’s hand squeezed his arm. “It will.”

The rain continued to fall in buckets, making Emmett’s job of digging the small grave difficult but eventually he finished. Edward and Jacob placed the coffin in the hole. As they stepped away, Carlisle cleared his throat.

“We are all here now to say goodbye to a baby we never got to know. Though we never got to know this child, he was and is loved by us all. We will always remember the happiness you brought to your parents…does anyone else want to say anything?”

Most stayed silent but Emmett, always ready with a joke, said, “Watch over us and put in a good word won’t ya kid?” That earned some choked out chuckles. No one else said anything, they didn’t need to, or couldn’t just yet. Emmett picked up the shovel again and started moving the dirt back into the grave.

Before he finished, Caleigh turned away and walked toward Jasper’s truck. Jasper watched as she opened the door, squeezing herself in and wrapping her arms around her uncle. He could hear Seth’s sobs through the rain. Turning his eyes back to the dirt Emmett was now leveling out he had to wonder if Alice was right. It was so hard to imagine everything being okay again right now.
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