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Title: Complicated
Author: [livejournal.com profile] avari_maethor
Summary: -Songfic- Remus' relationship with Sirius is very complicated.
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Slash, Remus/Sirius.
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling. Song lyrics belong to Avril Lavigne. Some of the lyrics have been removed for lack of idea purposes. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Complicated

Remus sat in the common room of Gryffindor sipping a cup of tea with a book open on his lap. He had been staring at the same section of paragraph for the last hour. His thoughts were occupied by thoughts of his boyfriend, Sirius. He loved Sirius and he knew that Sirius returned his feelings… but the Sirius he knew in private was very different from the Sirius he had class with, hell the Sirius that James and Peter knew was different than the one he knew in private. Remus couldn’t understand how Sirius kept up with all his personalities.

"I guess that’s just the way life is…" He thought.

Uh huh, life's like this
Uh huh, uh huh
That's the way it is


Remus laughed with James and Peter as he watched Sirius’ antics but when they weren’t looking he frowned. He didn’t really like this side of Sirius, the side that cared what others thought, the side that showed he was a Black even though he tried to hard to prove himself otherwise. He knew that part of the reason Sirius did this was to prove himself to Remus too… and he just didn’t have the heart to tell him otherwise when Sirius tried so hard.

Chill out
What you yelling for
Lay back
It's all been done before
And if you could only let it be
You would see


The blonde boy thought back to over the summer when Sirius had made a surprise visit to the cottage he lived in with his parents out in the country. Remus didn’t know how but Sirius had gotten a car and basically kidnapped himself into going for a drive.

The memory brought a smile to his lips.

They had talked about so many things, so deeply when they were alone in the car, the wind whipping their hair back. Then they had gotten to the restaurant Sirius was treating himself to. The moment they had stepped out of the car Sirius had his mask back on, using the personality he did at school. That smart ass, cocky, confident... fake personality.

I like you the way you are
When we're driving in your car
And you're talking to me one on one
But you become


Remus spent many of his waking hours watching his boyfriend, Sirius hated it when they were around people and Remus made their relationship known. In Sirius’ eyes the only ones that should know were James, Lily and Peter. Remus was not ashamed that he loved Sirius and he knew that Sirius was not really ashamed of being gay but those thoughts that it mattered to everyone else littered his mind.

Sirius thought what other people were thinking when they looked at people was so important. It was probably something that lasted from his family’s idiotic pure blood ideas. Remus just wished that he could help Sirius relax.

Somebody else
Round everyone else
Watching your back
Like you can't relax


James laughed at Sirius’ latest act before looking at Remus, who stood on his right. He grew concerned at the frown that had appeared on his friend’s lips.

"What’s wrong Moony?" He questioned. Remus looked at him before shaking his head.

"He looks like a fool," Remus replied before turning and walking away. James watched him go, both missing the look that entered Sirius’ eyes.

You trying to be cool
You look like a fool to me
Tell me


Sirius was drawing a crowd in the common room… again. Remus rolled his eyes and gathered his books to go to the library. He probably wouldn’t have minded so much but when there were this many people around, especially ones that they saw on a daily basis, Sirius ignored him completely.

This time was a bit different than others. Sirius noticed his leaving and followed him.

"Remy where are you going?" He questioned. Remus just glared at him. "It’s all just a bit of fun!"

"It may only be a bit of fun but these split personalities that you have are getting me frustrated," Remus replied.

"Split? What are you talking about?" Sirius questioned.

"It’s like you’re someone else Siri," Remus whispered before he turned and walked away.

Why'd you have to go
And make things so complicated?
I see the way you're acting
Like you're somebody else
Gets me frusterated


Sirius sat stared into his cup of butter beer; James sat across from him staring at the girl that had captured his heart, Lily Evans. She glanced over at him and he toasted her with a small smile. Lily flipped her hair and turned back to the conversation she had been having. James chuckled lightly as he looked at Sirius across the table.

"Why do you even bother? She doesn’t like you," Sirius stated. James’ smile just got cockier.

"That’s what you think. Lily is the one I’m going to marry; she just doesn’t realize it yet." Sirius snorted. "So what’s up with you? You look bloody awful."

"Remus is mad at me," Sirius told him. James nodded.

"Anyone can see that."

"It’s making me feel like a bloody worm."

Life's like this, you
You fall and you crawl


"And you’ll break before he ever forgives you." Sirius groaned and dropped his head to the table.

"What did I do?" James shrugged.

"I think he’s just fed up with you being fake."

And you break and
You take what you get
And you turn it into


"I’m not fake!" Sirius yelled drawing attention. He gave a shaky smile and looked back at James who was trying hard to not laugh.

"Honestly Padfoot, think back about how you act when around people other than me and him compared to when you are with us." Sirius thought for a few moments before his features fell.

Honestly, you promised me
I'm never gonna find you
Fake it, no, no, no


There was a knock at the door and Remus looked at it curiously wondering who that could be, as to his knowledge they were not expecting company.

"Remus, would you get that? I’m up to my elbows in dirty dishwater," his mother called.

"Sure," he replied putting his book down and walking to the front door. Opening the door his mouth dropped open when he saw Sirius. Sirius wearing a tux.

You come over unannounced
Dressed up like
You're something else
Where you are and where it's at


Remus just stared at Sirius’ cheesy grin and then at his tux. He fought it, he really did.

You see, you're making me

Remus started to laugh. He reached out and took hold of the front of Sirius’s tux pulling him closer.

"What are you wearing Siri?" He asked.

"A tux, I thought you would like it," Sirius replied smiling at him.

"Remus who is it?" His mother called.

"Sirius," he called back. "We’re going upstairs!" They were already headed up to his room before she could reply; when she heard the door close she just smiled.

"Upstairs Moony?" Sirius questioned with a raised eyebrow. Remus murmured a silencing charm and then turned to him.

"Take it off," he stated.

Laugh out
When you strike a pose
Take off
All your preppy clothes


"You’re always hanging around those three Black, are they all your bitches or are you the bitch?" Lucius questioned with that all knowing smirk. James grabbed hold of Sirius’ arms to hold him back from attacking the Slytherin boy. Lucius laughed before his eyes landed on Remus.

Remus tensed under the cold gaze, he expected some ‘mudblood’ comment so he was even more surprised when he felt cool fingers cupping his chin. His eyes met Lucius’ before he quickly looked away and tried to break free.

"Although I can see why you would make this one your bitch Black." Sirius growled and pulled his arms from James’ hold.

"I didn’t know you preferred blokes Malfoy," he stated coldly. Lucius let Remus go as he turned back to Sirius.

"Who said I did? Mudbloods are only good for one thing and that’s making them scream. I’m sure that’s why you enjoy him best isn’t Sirius? You love his screams." Sirius’ eyes went cold.

"I don’t know what you’re talking about Malfoy, Lupin and I are just friends."

Remus’ heart stopped and his blood ran cold. Sirius sounded so convincing.

Why'd you have to go
And make things so complicated?
I see the way you're acting
Like you're somebody else
Gets me frustrated


Further down the hallway after getting away from Malfoy and his goons, Remus reached out to Sirius. The dark haired boy gave him a smile but that single smile did not remove all worry from his heart.

"Siri..." He whispered, although to his ears it came out more as a plea. From the look that entered Sirius’ eyes he heard it was well and stopped walking. James and Peter stopped giving them an odd look.

"Go ahead you guys, we’ll be along in a minute," Sirius told them. They nodded and continued on. Remus waited until he was sure they were out of ear shot before he looked up at Sirius. "What’s wrong Rem?" Sirius questioned brushing a loose strand of Remus’ blonde hair behind his ear.

"Did you mean what you said?" Remus asked pushing his hand away gently.

"Huh?" Sirius looked confused.

"You said we were just friends… is… is that true Siri?" Remus was trying hard to keep the hurt from his voice.

"What? No Rem… I love you."

"You sounded so convincing… how do I know you aren’t lying now?"

"I’m not!" Sirius exclaimed.

"So you say!" Remus yelled, he shook his head then and ran away from Sirius.

"Remus!"

Chill out
What you yelling for
Lay back
It's all been done before
And if you could only let it be
You will see


When Sirius had gotten back to the common room Remus was already curled up in a corner of the couch with a book. He started towards him but another group of students in another part of the room stopped him. His eyes lingered on Remus before he put on his fake smile.

Eventually Sirius did make it over to Remus but there were too many people around to talk to him now. James and Peter were laughing with him but he wondered if they could see how fake his smile and laugh was.

Sirius knew there was only one person who could tell and he could feel said person’s eyes on him now.

Somebody else
Round everyone else
Watching your back
Like you can't relax


"Sirius..." Remus said softly. The dark haired boy’s tense posture eased slightly as he looked at his boyfriend.

"What is it Rem?" He questioned.

"Tell me you love me." Sirius’ eyes widened as he looked around the crowded common room. "Siri... tell me."

Sirius took in a deep breath before he smiled at Remus. He leaned in and kissed him on the lips.

"I love you," he said loud enough to be heard. Remus smiled.

"Fools in love," James laughed.

You trying to be cool
You look like a fool to me
Tell me

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