One-shot: Vertigo
Aug. 16th, 2010 03:33 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elvenavariTitle: Vertigo
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
avari_maethor
Summary: He was caught in a constant state of vertigo. He remembered everything and yet nothing, it was there, just out of his grasp. He wanted to remember.
Rating: PG
Warnings: Slash. Embry/Quil. Het. Quil/Claire (imprint).
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by Stephenie Meyer. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
I. Blinded
II. Tunnel Vision - written bystarry_nights88
Vertigo
Previously…
He felt his heart in his throat as he stepped closer to the pair. His whole body shaking as he took in his best friend's, his lover's appearance. He was dressed in army garb and his green satchel was slung over the back of his chair. But the thing that caught his eye was the bright white bandage that was wrapped around his head.
"H-hi Em…" he managed to get out, kneeling down on the opposite side of Embry's mother, the man turned to him and instead of seeing love and adoration in those eyes, he saw confusion.
"…Who are you?"
---
Those three words.
His voice.
The confusion.
Quil gripped the cold metal of the wheelchair tightly, the metal bending under his strength, as he bowed his head, his eyes clenched closed to keep his tears from falling. Embry didn’t know him.
“Embry,” Ms. Call said, sympathy present in her voice for Quil. “This is Quil, surely you remember Quil, you’ve been best friends since the 5th grade.”
Someone cleared their throat, cutting Embry’s reply off. Ms. Call and Quil both looked up at the solider standing behind Embry. “Sorry to interrupt, I was assigned to Sgt. Call to make sure his family was here to meet him. MSgt. Bloom,” the solider stated. “I need to speak with you both for a moment.”
Ms. Call and Quil stood, both nodding. “Thank you for taking care of my son,” Ms. Call told him. “I thought Embry was a Private?” MSgt. Bloom nodded and rolled Embry over to the windows.
“We’ll be just a moment Embry.” Embry nodded lightly, his eyes on the people moving out on the tarmac. MSgt. Bloom returned to where Ms. Call and Quil were standing. “I was told to deliver the details of your son’s injury to you ma’am. Sgt. Call received a promotion once he was in Berlin.”
“Oh I see. The letter only said that he had received a head injury,” Ms. Call said.
MSgt. Bloom nodded. “It was vague I know. That’s why I was assigned to give you details. Sgt. Call received a gunshot wound to the head from an enemy sniper, he was very lucky. He was treated by a MASH unit and then transferred to Berlin for further treatment. As you can see by the bandage, his wound has still not fully healed. Sgt. Call will need to be seen by a doctor in one month, will this be possible?”
Ms. Call nodded. “Dr. Cullen will be able to treat him.”
“Good, now as I’m sure you noticed Sgt. Call does not retain all of his memories.” MSgt. Bloom’s eyes rested on Quil. “We believe that this amnesia is only temporary and that he will regain his memory in time. Currently he doesn’t remember the last five years at all. The rest comes and goes. He has nightmares when he sleeps…though most of us do. These pills have been prescribed to help with pain and to help him sleep,” MSgt. Bloom explained handing the pills to Ms. Call. “Any questions?”
“When will he start to remember?” Quil questioned. “Will he remember everything?”
“Sgt. Call has made great strides since waking up in Berlin. It’s hard to say when and if he will remember everything. I’m sure your own doctor will be able to explain this better. For the time being you must be patient, don’t get frustrated if he doesn’t remember something and surround him with things that might trigger a memory,” Bloom answered.
Quil rested a hand on Ms. Call’s shoulder knowing this would be a hard task for her. “We’ll all help,” he assured her.
“Thank you Quil,” she said bringing a hand up to rest it on his, giving it a squeeze. “MSgt. Bloom, thank you for all your help, we appreciate you escorting Embry home. If there is any way we can repay you…”
MSgt. Bloom smiled but shook his head. “I appreciate the offer but no.” He looked over at Embry who was still sitting in front of the windows. “I met Embry a year ago while on assignment. He was the only one who took an interest in the new guy, I was very thankful for his friendship during those first few months. No, this is just me returning the favor.”
Quil glared at MSgt. Bloom…he sounded a little to close to Embry. Embry was his damnit… even if he didn’t remember it. ‘I’ll make him remember… if it’s the last thing I do,’ he thought.
Ms. Call held her hand out to MSgt. Bloom. “Thank you again, if you’re ever in the Forks or La Push area, look us up.”
“I will do that, thank you,” MSgt. Bloom replied. “I’m just going to say goodbye to Embry now.” Ms. Call nodded and looked at the medicine that she had been given earlier. Quil watched MSgt. Bloom walk over to Embry, kneeling by him, speaking softly. His gaze turned into another glare as MSgt. Bloom rested a hand on Embry’s arm… what hurt more though was the smile Embry gave the other man. Unable to stop himself he strode over to Embry and MSgt. Bloom.
“Ready to head home Em? We’ve got a bit of a drive ahead of us,” he said resting a hand on Embry’s shoulder. Quil hoped that using the nickname would be one of those memory triggers MSgt. Bloom had talked about.
Embry’s head turned and he looked up at Quil. He studied him, trying to remember, knowing he should know this man… but nothing but fog greeted him. The only thing he could remember about this guy was that his name was Quil. Embry’s hands clenched into fists in annoyance.
“Easy Em, don’t stress yourself, you’ll remember,” Quil assured him giving him a smile. “We’ll make sure of it.”
There it was… he almost had it… that smile! And it was gone. The memory slipped away at the last instant. Embry sighed, still staring at Quil, but his fists relaxed. “Yeah, I’m ready, it’s been a long day,” Embry said quietly.
Quil nodded and met MSgt. Bloom’s eyes as he stood. “Thanks,” he said grudgingly holding out his hand.
MSgt. Bloom took Quil’s hand, shaking it, his eyes widening at how warm Quil’s skin was. Quil pulled out of the handshake before Bloom could ask any questions. Taking hold of the handles of Embry’s wheelchair he pulled him away from the windows and back over to his mother. MSgt. Bloom could only watch as Quil pushed Embry away, Ms. Call giving him one final wave before she too followed her son and the other boy. When she caught up she rested a hand on Embry’s shoulder.
---
“I’m so happy you’re home Embry. I’m going to make all your favorite foods. I left your room pretty much the way it was except I cleaned it. I changed the sheets this morning so you would have fresh one’s to sleep on,” Ms. Call rattled on.
“Ms. Call…” Quil said softly glancing in the rear view mirror.
“You don’t have to worry about remembering everything at once. If you have any questions you just have to ask. I’ll get all the picture books out to show you and I’m sure Jacob and the other boys will be over sometime tomorrow. They’ve missed you nearly as much as I have.”
“Ms. Call,” Quil tried again.
“What?” She asked.
“Shh, he’s asleep.”
Ms. Call’s eyes widened and she turned to look back at her son. Sure enough Embry had stretched out, his head resting on his bag, his eyes closed and breathing even in sleep. “Oh.”
The rest of the drive home was silent aside from the occasional whimper from Embry. Quil figured it was one of the nightmares MSgt. Bloom had talked about but not a severe one. Once he pulled up in front of the Call house Quil got Embry out, he took a moment to marvel at how cool Embry felt against him and how light he was before carrying him up the porch steps and into the house while Ms. Call held the door open for him. Quil almost wanted to ask to stay… but he figured that would be pushing it.
“I’ll just get his bag from the truck and then head home,” Quil told Ms. Call quietly.
Ms. Call nodded as she went back to Embry’s room to tuck him in. “Thank you for everything Quil.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow.”
---
“Embry?”
Embry blinked up at the ceiling at the sound of his name. For a moment he was disoriented and didn’t know where he was. The last he remembered he was in a hospital… no wait, that wasn’t right.
There had been a plane ride, a very long plane ride. And then… a woman with a loving smile… blinking lights and planes. Something else… what was he missing? Oh, getting in a truck and then… Embry let his eyes close again as he tried to remember. There had been a feeling of safety and warmth! For a moment he had felt so safe and warm.
“Embry?” This time a knock following the woman’s voice. His mother! That’s who that voice was. “Are you awake?” The door opened just enough for her to poke her head in and he turned his own to look at her.
“Yeah, I’m awake,” he answered.
Ms. Call beamed at her son and opened the door a bit further. “Good because Dr. Cullen is here to see you.”
Embry slowly sat up. “Dr. Cullen?” He questioned.
Ms. Call nodded. “MSgt. Bloom said you needed to be seen by a doctor here around home in a month but I wanted to know everything for myself so I called Dr. Cullen this morning, since it was his day off at the hospital he agreed to come out. He’s waiting in the living room,” she explained.
“Should I change?”
Ms. Call smiled as she came to help Embry stand. His movements where still a bit unsure so she supported him until he caught his balance. “I’m sure he won’t mind that you’re in your pajamas.”
“Okay,” Embry answered. Together they went out to the living room, Ms. Call keeping a firm grip on her son’s arm. Embry’s eyes widened when he saw the man standing in the middle of the living room. The tall blonde had to be one of the most handsome men he had ever seen. “That’s Dr. Cullen?” The man looked like he should be making movies!
The blonde smiled charmingly and held out his hand to Embry. “Dr. Carlisle Cullen, welcome home Embry.”
“Did you know me?” Embry questioned as he shook the other’s hand. His eyes widened at how cold the hand within his own was, much like MSgt. Bloom’s reaction to Quil’s hand.
“We have met before,” Carlisle answered. “You have lost quite a bit of weight since then. Please, have a seat and I will begin the examination. Your mother tells me that you have suffered some memory loss.”
Embry sat on the couch, watching Dr. Cullen’s actions wearily. He didn’t know what it was but something about this man put him on edge. It was like a deep feeling that…burned. But he pushed it back, Dr. Cullen had been nothing but nice to him and his mother. He had no reason to be suspicious of him…except for his freakishly cold hands. “Yeah,” he finally answered. “I can’t remember anything from the last five years and everything else comes and goes. When I first woke up in…”
“Berlin,” Ms. Call supplied.
“Berlin, I couldn’t remember how to talk.”
Carlisle nodded and gave Embry a simple physical before cutting the bandage away from his head. “This may hurt just a bit,” he stated as he tested the skin around the stitches in Embry’s head. The only reaction he measured from Embry was the tightening of his muscles and his hands clenching.
“The army doctors did a good job,” Carlisle said. “The stitches are clean with no sign of infection. Are you suffering from any headaches?”
“A few… when I get frustrated about not remembering something. And I have nightmares,” Embry answered.
“Nightmares?” Carlisle questioned.
“Oh! MSgt. Bloom gave me these pills at the airport. Embry takes one before bed,” Ms. Call said handing Carlisle the pill bottle.
Carlisle studied the bottle for a moment before nodding. “These are strong sleeping pills, they will help Embry to sleep through the nightmares he is having. Embry, do you remember any of your nightmares?”
“No, though I assume they are related to the war… I was told that I was a solider for two years. I’m sure bad stuff happened during those two years that I would rather not remember.”
“Of course, war is not an easy thing to forget. I have seen my share.”
Embry turned to look at him. “How old are you?”
Carlisle smiled. “Older than I look. Now, after I rewrap your injury I’m going to ask you ten questions. Your answers to these questions will help me gauge the extent of memory loss.”
“Alright,” Embry agreed worrying his bottom lip. He hoped he remembered the answers to these questions.
Carlisle asked Ms. Call to step out of the room while he asked the questions, not wanting her to be tempted to answer for Embry or being upset if he didn’t know the answer. Memory loss could be a very difficult process for families. Carlisle wanted to make this as easy for Embry and his mother as he could.
Pulling a clipboard with a series of questions on it out of his bag Carlisle settled at the other end of the couch. “We’ll start out with some easy questions and toward the end they will get harder,” Carlisle explained.
Embry took a deep breath and tried to relax. Carlisle started with a simple question, his full name. Embry didn’t remember his middle name but he did remember how old he was. By the eighth question he couldn’t remember anything. It frustrated him to no end! His hands clenched into fists and he could feel that heat pressing against him again.
Carlisle watched Embry closely. He knew from the loose friendship that had formed between the pack and his coven that anger often caused the shifter’s to phase. He didn’t want Embry phasing here inside the house, especially when he was still recovering. As he was about to speak the front door of the Call house opened and Jacob walked in.
“Yo Embry! I heard you got home last night but figured you needed to rest so I didn’t come by.” Jacob smiled as he walked over and sat beside Embry, he gave Carlisle a brief nod and smile which the vampire returned. Carlisle was impressed by how quickly Embry relaxed with Jacob near. “Quil and I just wanted to come by and see how you were this morning.” Carlisle met the eyes of the other shifter standing in the doorway of the room.
“Jacob,” Embry said with a smile.
Jacob’s grin widened and he squeezed Embry’s shoulder before looking back at Quil. He didn’t notice the hurt look in Quil’s eyes but Carlisle, who had been watching the other, did. “I thought you said he didn’t remember.”
“He doesn’t remember me,” Quil said quietly.
“Embry suffers from dissociative amnesia,” Carlisle stated as he put the clipboard back into his bag. Ms. Call returned to the living room as Carlisle said this. “It was caused by the trauma that resulted from the wound to Embry’s head.”
“Will he get better?” Ms. Call questioned.
“In time, I don’t see why he would not regain most, if not all his memories. But there is always a chance that some things will not return. Embry may also experience dissociative fugue,” Carlisle explained.
“What’s that?” Quil asked.
“Dissociative fugue is small bouts of amnesia, not serious and very rare but it is a possibility with an injury such as this.”
“So what should we do in the meantime?” Ms. Called wondered.
“Memories lost due to amnesia usually return when a person is surrounded by things that will remind them of those memories. Being in familiar places, among familiar people, looking at photos and letters, those sorts of things,” Carlisle answered.
“We can do that. We’re already planning a bonfire for the end of the week,” Jacob said with a smile.
“A bonfire?” Embry questioned.
“Oh yeah, we all get together and cook hot dogs and marshmallows and tell stories.”
“It’s the best!” Seth exclaimed as he came through the door. Embry blinked at the younger boy in confusion. Quil hated to admit it, but he was relieved that it looked like Embry didn’t remember Seth. He didn’t want to be the only one his lover didn’t remember.
“Who’re you?” Embry questioned.
Seth laughed. “Figures you wouldn’t remember the puppy of the pack!”
“The pack?” Embry asked looking even more confused.
“Seth,” Jacob stated and shook his head. “Embry was hurt, he has amnesia.”
Seth’s eyes widened. “Oh!”
“The pack is just a group of guys that hang out. We’re really close, like a wolf pack,” Quil explained. “We’re like brothers.”
“Yeah! It’s the best. And every now and then we have a bonfire and those rock because of the stories. The stories are amazing,” Seth told him smiling widely.
Embry returned the smile; something about Seth’s smile was infectious. “So when will the bonfire be?”
“Either Friday or Saturday night, we haven’t decided yet but I’ll let you know,” Jacob answered.
Embry nodded and turned to Carlisle. “Dr. Cullen, thank you for coming to have a look at me.”
“My pleasure Embry, take it easy for the next week or so. Call me if your sleeping pills don’t do the trick for your nightmares and if nothing else I’ll see you again in a month to see how your injury is healing.” Carlisle stood and nodded to Jacob again, who returned it. Embry thought it was weird that the doctor was paying so much attention to Jacob but he didn’t comment on it.
Once Carlisle had left everyone in the room started talking all at once. Embry found it very confusing, trying to keep up with all the conversations and voices at once. “Guys… guys!” Embry’s eyes went to the boy who had been with his mother the day before. “You’re confusing him.”
“How can you tell Quil?” Seth questioned.
Quil gave the younger boy a look. “Really Seth? You’re really asking me that?”
“Yeah, yeah, stupid question.”
“Why is it a stupid question?” Embry asked.
All eyes turned to him now and he shifted uncomfortably. “It just is Em,” Quil finally replied. That sad look was in his eyes again, Embry didn’t like that look.
“Boys, I think you should leave for today. I’m going to show Embry some pictures and old movies and then I think he should rest,” Ms. Call stated.
“I’d like to stay if you don’t mind Ms. Call,” Quil said. “I think I could help if he has any questions.”
“Claire not around today?”
“Her mom took her to Seattle for a mother daughter day.”
“Ohh. Sure, you can stay.”
“Thanks.”
Embry watched the conservation in confusion. Who was Claire? As with everything else he felt like he should remember her.
Embry was pulled out of his thoughts by a to warm hand on his shoulder. He turned his head to look at Jacob. “I’ll see ya later buddy,” Jacob told him with a smile. Embry nodded, returning the smile.
“Okay, thanks Jacob.”
“Jake.”
“Right… Jake.”
Jacob gave Embry’s shoulder one last squeeze before he stood and went to the door. Seth grinned and waved at Embry. “Bye Em!”
“Bye,” Embry replied his smile widening at the sight of Seth’s infectious smile.
Once Jacob and Seth had left Ms. Call went to look for the old movies and photo albums she kept. “Are you hungry Em?” Quil questioned.
Embry’s stomach answered for him by growling loudly. He knew he was blushing, he could feel it on his cheeks. “Yeah…”
Quil chuckled and nodded. “Anything sound good?”
“Whatever really.”
“Spaghetti it is then.” Quil disappeared into the kitchen. Embry heard him moving about and was curious as to how one made spaghetti. Standing he went to the kitchen doorway to watch. Quil looked up at him with a raised eyebrow. “What’s up?”
Embry shook his head. “I just don’t know… don’t remember how to make spaghetti… could I watch?”
Quil smiled. “Of course. C’ere and I’ll let you help me.”
Coming to stand next to Quil, Embry watched closely as he cooked the spaghetti and then the hamburger. Quil let him stir and keep moving the meat so it didn’t burn. Once all the ingredients were ready they cooked the sauce and then mixed everything together.
Embry smiled as they finished up. He was making spaghetti! And he was making it with Quil. Embry gave the other boy a wide grin as they waited for the bread to finish. Quil returned the smile and Embry felt something in his stomach. It was like… like… those little things you saw flying all over the place in the summer…
“Butterflies,” he murmured still looking at Quil.
Quil raised an eyebrow at the random word. “Butterflies? What about them?”
A blush lit up Embry’s cheeks and Quil chuckled. He bumped his hip against the other boy’s. “Don’t worry about it. The plates are in the cabinet to your right, you get them and I’ll get the bread.”
Embry nodded and got the plates. As he moved to the table he kept his eyes on Quil. There was something about the other boy… first the smile, and then the butterflies… but it felt like something deeper than that.
“I found them!” Ms. Call exclaimed coming into the kitchen. “Oh, you made…” She checked the clock, it was 10am. “…an early lunch?”
Quil laughed. “Spaghetti is good for any meal Ms. Call. What did you find?”
“I knew I had some really old photo albums from when Embry was a little boy around here. I found it under my bed. Have a seat on either side of me boys and we’ll go through them.”
“Sounds good, do you want any?” Quil asked.
“No thank you, I’m still full from my breakfast.” Ms. Call sat at the table and Embry sat next to her. Quil put the bread and spaghetti on the table before getting drinks and forks for he and Embry. Sitting on the other side of Ms. Call he waited until Embry had filled his plate before getting his own helping.
Quil and Embry ate as Ms. Call flipped through the pictures, talking about various memories. Embry remembered some things here and there but nothing really significant. “Quil!” He exclaimed suddenly. “That’s you!” Embry pointed at a picture, probably one of the first of them together.
Quil looked down at the picture and smiled. In it he and Embry each had an arm over the other’s shoulder’s, wide smiles on their young faces. It was then that he realized, in every picture, every single one, Embry was always watching him. He always had that loving, protective look in his eyes, even in the ones of them as children. It was the same look that he had come to love so much when they had gotten together before the imprint. It was the look Embry had yet to give him.
Quil swallowed hard and blinked back tears. If only he had listened to Embry… if only he hadn’t been so blinded by the imprint… none of this would have happened, Embry would still remember. Embry would still be giving him that look. “I have to go,” he stated.
Ms. Call and Embry gave him the same confused look. “What’s wrong?” Embry questioned.
Quil cleared his throat, hoping his sadness didn’t show in his voice. “Nothing’s wrong. I just remembered there’s some stuff I have to do for my grandfather. I’ll see you guys later.”
Embry opened his mouth to say something, to stop Quil from leaving, but nothing came out. He could only watch as Quil walked away. The action seemed familiar… he closed his eyes trying to bring the memory forward. All he got was snaps or flashes of that same image… Quil walking away. What had happened between them?
---
Three days later Quil yawned as he answered the phone. “Heeello?”
“Oh Quil! I’m so glad I got a hold of you!”
“Ms. Call?” He was immediately on alert. “Is it Embry? Did something happen? Is he hurt?”
“No, no, no, nothing like that. I got called into work and I don’t want to leave Embry alone. He’s been having horrible nightmares at night and I don’t want him to be alone if he wakes up after one. Could you come over and stay with him? Please?” Ms. Call asked.
Quil sighed softly. “Yeah, I’ll be there soon as I get dressed.” He wanted to be there for Embry but he also didn’t want to hurt him again. This was all his fault after all.
“Thank you Quil!”
“Yeah, no problem.”
---
Ms. Call was gone when Quil got to Embry’s house. The house itself was quiet and hadn’t changed much since he had last left it three days ago. One thing that had changed was that there were post-it notes everywhere. Quil walked up to one, reading the words on it. “Light switch, up is on, down is off.” Oh! This must have been a way Ms. Call was trying to help Embry remember.
Quil wondered through the rooms reading the various post it’s that were stuck to things. Some were just names and how things worked but others held memories. The ones with memories were in Embry’s neat hand while the other notes were in Ms. Call’s cursive. Quil smiled, so he was remembering, that was good.
A soft whimper caught Quil’s attention. Turning he listened closely. Another whimper, it was coming from Embry’s bedroom. Quil’s heart caught in his throat and he ran for Embry’s bedroom. The door crashed against the wall as he threw it open but the sound didn’t wake Embry. Quil’s heart started again as he realized that Embry was just having a nightmare, though it seemed like a very violent one from how much he was tossing and turning.
Going to the bed Quil sat on the edge and held Embry down by his shoulders, not wanting the other to hurt himself. “Em, Embry, wake up,” he said. “C’mon Em, it’s just a dream.”
“N-no! Don’t… shots fired… thirteen men down… no survivors… don’t walk away… reload!” Embry whimpered, his head still turning this way and that. He pushed against Quil’s hold but didn’t get far since Quil was stronger. “Quil don’t!”
The next words Quil had been planning to say died before he could get them out. Embry was having a nightmare…about him? Well him and a mixture of war it sounded like. But why was he in there? “Em, I’m here, don’t what?”
“Don’t!” Embry cried out again.
“Don’t what Em?”
“Don’t walk away!” Embry whimpered. “You always walk away…”
---
Quil sat on the couch in the Call living room, his hands folded together, pressed to his lips in a worried fashion. It had taken him five minutes to realize that Embry was still stuck in his nightmare, those five minutes he had just been frozen by Embry’s words. “You always walk away”. God! How could he have considered himself a good boyfriend at one point when he didn’t even realize how much he was hurting Embry?
The shower in the other room turned off and Embry appeared a few moments later wearing nothing but a pair of sleep pants. He held a towel in his hand which he was using to dry his hair. “Hey, you’re still here.”
“Yeah…” Quil was staring he knew. After phasing for the first time Embry’s muscles had been defined but after two years of not phasing one would expect that those muscles would have been lost. Not Embry’s though, no, of course being in the military probably had something to do with that. What also caught his eye were the scars… one on Embry’s shoulder and one jagged line on his left side. “Your mom asked me to stay with you.” Quil stood and came to stand in front of Embry. “Em… do you remember how you got these?” He lightly touched the shoulder scar and then the one on his left side.
Embry looked down following his fingers. His eyebrows went together in confusion. He was trying to remember; surely one would remember where they got scars wouldn’t they? “Looks like… a bullet and a knife wound… but no, I don’t actually remember them.”
“You never told me about these,” Quil whispered. Now Embry’s look of confusion was focused on him. “We wrote each other letters. You never mentioned these in them.”
“Maybe I had them before I left?” Embry suggested.
“No, you didn’t,” Quil assured him. “I know you didn’t.” He knew Embry’s body better than that.
“Oh, well I don’t know. I guess it’ll come back in time. Must not have been too important if I didn’t mention them in my letters.”
‘Or you just didn’t want to worry me… you were taking care of me… even from over there…’ Quil thought.
“Hey, are you hungry?” Embry questioned.
“Huh? Oh, yeah, I can always eat.”
“Great! My mom showed me how to make pancakes. I have my notes for them in here…” Embry said as he walked into the kitchen. He picked up a small notebook and showed Quil the directions he had written down.
‘Meticulous as ever,’ Quil thought in amusement. “Great, I’ll just sit here at the table and watch. If you need me just say so.”
“Will do.”
---
The phone rang as Embry washed the dishes from their breakfast. “Quil would you get that?” He asked holding up his soapy hands.
“Sure.” Quil went to the phone and answered it, “Call residence.”
“Quilly!”
Quil blinked in surprise. “Claire-bear?”
“Yup! It’s me!”
“How did you know I was at Embry’s?” He questioned.
“I tried your house and Ol’ Quil said you had gone over there. Aunt Emily gave me the number. Its okay I called right?”
Quil smiled. “Yeah, it’s fine. I was just surprised.”
“Oh well surprise!”
Quil laughed. “Did you need something Claire-bear?”
“Not really.” He could just see her sitting in the chair under Sam and Emily’s phone, kicking her feet. “Are you coming over today?”
“I can if you want me to.” Quil glanced at Embry, who was trying hard to look like he wasn’t listening. Quil smiled as he leaned against the wall. “If Embry can come too.”
“Course I do! And yeah, bring Embry; it’ll be fun to meet him!” There was a pause and then… “Again!”
Quil chuckled. “Alright, we’ll be over soon okay?”
“Kay! Bye Quilly!”
“Bye Claire-bear.” Quil hung up the phone and looked back at Embry who was drying the last plate in the sink. “Clair would like us to come over for awhile. Are you feeling up to it?”
“Claire? You guys sound…close,” Embry said as he put the dishes up.
“You could say that. Claire is Emily’s, who is married to Sam, niece. I help babysit her when she’s around, we’ve become really attached.”
“Did I know her before?” Embry questioned.
“Yeah,” Quil answered.
“Does she remember me?”
“Vaguely. She’s six so she was four when you left. She remembers that we used to hang out at Sam and Emily’s sometimes.”
“Oh.” Well at least he wouldn’t need to worry about offending the little girl by not remembering her.
“So do you want to go?”
“Sure, it’ll be nice to get out of this house for a bit,” Embry replied. “I’ll just go get dressed.”
“I’ll be waiting,” Quil agreed. Watching Embry go back to his room Quil could only think about how many times he had watched Embry get dressed. All the mornings before school… lying on Embry’s bed basking in the afterglow… Quil sighed and shook his head. It did no good to think about it now.
---
Embry laughed at the joke Quil had just told him. They were walking down the hill to a house that looked a lot like the other houses on the reservation, but with more trees. Quil was smiling at his reaction to his joke and Embry loved that smile. It gave him those butterflies again.
The door of the house they were approaching was thrown open and a little girl ran out. “Quilly!”
Quil’s smile widened and was no longer directed at him, but to the little girl. This must be Claire. Embry held back, watching as Quil caught the little girl and tossed her into the air. Claire squealed as Quil caught her and spun them both around. Her little arms were wrapped around Quil’s neck, a huge smile on her face. Embry’s butterflies disappeared, in fact now his stomach felt heavy instead of light. He also became aware that his hands had clenched into fists. He didn’t know why he was reacting this way…
“I missed you!” Claire exclaimed as Quil set her down.
Quil rolled his eyes in amusement and stroked her hair fondly. “You saw me two days ago.”
“Well that’s a really long time!”
“I guess it is,” Quil agreed. He then remembered Embry and turned to look back at the other boy. There was a curious look on Embry’s face, Quil couldn’t place it. “Claire, this is Embry.”
Claire realized for the first time that there was another boy with Quil. She stepped closer and behind Quil so that she was only peeking out from behind him. Embry was taller than Quil, though not as tall as she remembered. Claire’s hold on Quil’s shorts tightened at the look on Embry’s face. It wasn’t scary… or angry… just blank.
“Claire-bear, this is Embry.” Claire looked up as Quil spoke. There was something in his voice that she had never heard before; it was similar to the voice Quil used when he was talking to her but different somehow. “Embry, this is Claire.”
Quil’s voice cut through his thoughts. Embry looked down at the little girl who looked so scared or just really shy, he wasn’t sure which it was. He smiled and kneeled down so that he was eye level with her. “Hey Claire. How are you today?”
Claire hid her face against Quil’s leg. “Hey now Claire-bear, Embry won’t hurt you. He’s probably the nicest person you’ll ever meet.”
“Nu-uh! That’s you,” she replied.
Quil chuckled. “Just the same, why don’t you say hi?”
Claire looked back at Embry, his face flashing through her memory. She gasped, her eyes widening. “It’s you! But you don’t look sad now.”
Embry cocked his head to the side and looked confused. “Sad?”
“Mm! Last time I saw you, you looked sad,” she stated.
“Huh… well if I was sad then I’m glad I don’t remember that. I don’t like to be sad, do you?” He asked.
Claire shook her head. “Nope, I would much rather be happy.”
Embry smiled again and offered his hand. “Well how about we make some memories? Would that make you happy?”
“With Quilly too?”
Embry looked up at Quil and his smile widened. “With Quilly too.”
---
At the end of the week, Saturday, Embry found himself excited. Tonight was the night of the bonfire that Jacob had mentioned earlier that week. Claire had been so excited about it that she had talked of almost nothing but. Her excitement had rubbed off on him, now he was just waiting for Quil to come and show him where the bonfire would be.
A knock came at his bedroom door and Embry pulled his shirt over his head as he turned. “Quil’s here,” Ms. Call told him.
“Why didn’t he come tell me that?” Embry questioned.
“Claire’s with him, he didn’t want to leave her alone in the car.”
“Oh.” Embry nodded, his stomach did that odd clenching thing again. “That makes sense.”
“What time will you be home?” Ms. Call asked.
“…I don’t know, how long do these bonfires usually last?”
“Til midnight or better,” she answered.
“Then midnight or after I guess.”
Ms. Call nodded and walked out to Quil’s car with Embry. She gave Claire a friendly smile as Embry slid into the passenger seat. “You’re going to take care of my boy aren’t you Quil?”
“Always Ms. Call,” Quil assured her.
“I’ll watch out for Emry too!” Claire stated.
Ms. Call laughed softly. “I appreciate it sweetie. Have a good time.” She watched Quil drive away, waving when Embry did.
---
“Tell a story Jake!” Seth urged.
“You’ve heard them all Seth,” Jacob replied leaning back against the log that they had placed on the beach. Everyone had eaten their fill of hot dogs and chips, now they were finishing off the s’mores.
“Aw c’mon! You gotta know at least one more!”
Jacob snorted and shook his head as he placed his hands behind his head. “Tell the one about the spirit warriors.” Jacob glanced over at Quil, who had spoken. He raised an eyebrow in question and glanced at Embry who was putting a s’more together. Meeting Quil’s eyes again the other boy just nodded.
“Alright, spirit warriors it is.” Jacob stared up at the stars for a moment, letting the sound of the waves crashing against the beach build the anticipation. “The Quileutes have been a small people from the beginning. And we are a small people still, but we have never disappeared. This is because there had always been magic in our blood. It wasn’t always the magic of shape-shifting – that came later. First, we were spirit warriors.”
Jacob’s voice was captivating, much like Billy’s had been for the rest of them years before. Embry found himself entranced by the story, his s’more long forgotten. He could feel something deep within him responding to the story, though he had no idea what it was.
“Claire-bear, you have chocolate all over your face.” Embry looked over to where Quil was sitting near him, cleaning Claire’s face off. That deep feeling was replaced with his stomach clenching again. Embry’s eyes widened as he realized what it was. Jealousy. He was jealous of the attention Quil paid to Claire.
‘That should be me…’ He thought, his fists clenching.
“Oh! Emry! This is for you,” Claire said once her face was clean. He looked at her, fighting his anger down. Embry watched as she dug into the little purse she was carrying. Finally she pulled out a picture and handed it to him. “I found it in one of Aunt Emmy’s picture books t’day.”
Embry took the picture with a small smile. He looked down at it and froze. The picture was of him and Quil. Embry’s eyes widened and his grip on the picture tightened. They were kissing. Not a friendly, joking sort of kiss, but a full on, heated kiss. In the picture Embry had his hands on Quil’s cheeks; almost looking like he was pulling him into the kiss but that wasn’t so because Quil’s arms were wrapped around his neck. Embry felt that anger burn through him again and he looked at Quil sharply as he stood.
“Why didn’t you tell me?!” He hissed.
Jacob stopped his story as Embry stood. “Em?”
Embry ignored him, his eyes locked on Quil. “Why!”
“Why what?” Quil asked, having not seen the picture.
“This!” Embry thrust the picture to him. He was shaking. He could feel something inside him burning, clawing, trying to force its way out. Embry pushed it down, whatever it was, needing to hear the answer first.
Quil took the picture, noticing Embry’s shaking hand. He glanced at Jacob as he moved Claire to the opposite side of the fire. Jacob stood, ready to help should something happen. Quil finally looked down at the picture and his eyes widened. He remembered when this had been taken, Seth had taken it actually, it had been at his birthday, the one before he imprinted.
Embry had come up behind him, tapped him on the shoulder. When he had turned Embry had grabbed him and pulled him into a kiss. His automatic reaction had been to wrap his arms around Embry’s neck returning the kiss. It had been that Seth had snapped the picture.
“Why didn’t you tell me?!” Embry demanded. “Why didn’t any of you!”
“We didn’t want to upset you Em…” Jacob said softly as he came up behind Quil.
“Well a good fucking job you’ve done! You lied to me!” Emily covered Claire’s ears at Embry’s language, not that she blamed him.
“We didn’t…” Quil started.
“No! Fuck you. Fuck you, and you, and the rest of you! You’ve all been keeping secrets from me!” It was then it happened. Something inside Embry snapped. He screamed as the thing that had been clawing at him from the inside finally broke loose.
The gray wolf with black spots growled at them, eyes full of anger as pieces of Embry’s clothes fell around him. He threw his head back and howled before taking off into the night.
“We have to go after him, he could hurt himself,” Jacob stated already pulling his shirt off. Quil nodded and glanced back.
“Someone take Claire home.” With that a russet brown wolf and a chocolate one ran off into the darkness after Embry.
A/N: The sequel to this story will be titled “Blindsided” it will be written bystarry_nights88. "Blindsided" is now posted! Follow the link to read it.
Author:
avari_maethorSummary: He was caught in a constant state of vertigo. He remembered everything and yet nothing, it was there, just out of his grasp. He wanted to remember.
Rating: PG
Warnings: Slash. Embry/Quil. Het. Quil/Claire (imprint).
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by Stephenie Meyer. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
I. Blinded
II. Tunnel Vision - written by
starry_nights88Previously…
He felt his heart in his throat as he stepped closer to the pair. His whole body shaking as he took in his best friend's, his lover's appearance. He was dressed in army garb and his green satchel was slung over the back of his chair. But the thing that caught his eye was the bright white bandage that was wrapped around his head.
"H-hi Em…" he managed to get out, kneeling down on the opposite side of Embry's mother, the man turned to him and instead of seeing love and adoration in those eyes, he saw confusion.
"…Who are you?"
Those three words.
His voice.
The confusion.
Quil gripped the cold metal of the wheelchair tightly, the metal bending under his strength, as he bowed his head, his eyes clenched closed to keep his tears from falling. Embry didn’t know him.
“Embry,” Ms. Call said, sympathy present in her voice for Quil. “This is Quil, surely you remember Quil, you’ve been best friends since the 5th grade.”
Someone cleared their throat, cutting Embry’s reply off. Ms. Call and Quil both looked up at the solider standing behind Embry. “Sorry to interrupt, I was assigned to Sgt. Call to make sure his family was here to meet him. MSgt. Bloom,” the solider stated. “I need to speak with you both for a moment.”
Ms. Call and Quil stood, both nodding. “Thank you for taking care of my son,” Ms. Call told him. “I thought Embry was a Private?” MSgt. Bloom nodded and rolled Embry over to the windows.
“We’ll be just a moment Embry.” Embry nodded lightly, his eyes on the people moving out on the tarmac. MSgt. Bloom returned to where Ms. Call and Quil were standing. “I was told to deliver the details of your son’s injury to you ma’am. Sgt. Call received a promotion once he was in Berlin.”
“Oh I see. The letter only said that he had received a head injury,” Ms. Call said.
MSgt. Bloom nodded. “It was vague I know. That’s why I was assigned to give you details. Sgt. Call received a gunshot wound to the head from an enemy sniper, he was very lucky. He was treated by a MASH unit and then transferred to Berlin for further treatment. As you can see by the bandage, his wound has still not fully healed. Sgt. Call will need to be seen by a doctor in one month, will this be possible?”
Ms. Call nodded. “Dr. Cullen will be able to treat him.”
“Good, now as I’m sure you noticed Sgt. Call does not retain all of his memories.” MSgt. Bloom’s eyes rested on Quil. “We believe that this amnesia is only temporary and that he will regain his memory in time. Currently he doesn’t remember the last five years at all. The rest comes and goes. He has nightmares when he sleeps…though most of us do. These pills have been prescribed to help with pain and to help him sleep,” MSgt. Bloom explained handing the pills to Ms. Call. “Any questions?”
“When will he start to remember?” Quil questioned. “Will he remember everything?”
“Sgt. Call has made great strides since waking up in Berlin. It’s hard to say when and if he will remember everything. I’m sure your own doctor will be able to explain this better. For the time being you must be patient, don’t get frustrated if he doesn’t remember something and surround him with things that might trigger a memory,” Bloom answered.
Quil rested a hand on Ms. Call’s shoulder knowing this would be a hard task for her. “We’ll all help,” he assured her.
“Thank you Quil,” she said bringing a hand up to rest it on his, giving it a squeeze. “MSgt. Bloom, thank you for all your help, we appreciate you escorting Embry home. If there is any way we can repay you…”
MSgt. Bloom smiled but shook his head. “I appreciate the offer but no.” He looked over at Embry who was still sitting in front of the windows. “I met Embry a year ago while on assignment. He was the only one who took an interest in the new guy, I was very thankful for his friendship during those first few months. No, this is just me returning the favor.”
Quil glared at MSgt. Bloom…he sounded a little to close to Embry. Embry was his damnit… even if he didn’t remember it. ‘I’ll make him remember… if it’s the last thing I do,’ he thought.
Ms. Call held her hand out to MSgt. Bloom. “Thank you again, if you’re ever in the Forks or La Push area, look us up.”
“I will do that, thank you,” MSgt. Bloom replied. “I’m just going to say goodbye to Embry now.” Ms. Call nodded and looked at the medicine that she had been given earlier. Quil watched MSgt. Bloom walk over to Embry, kneeling by him, speaking softly. His gaze turned into another glare as MSgt. Bloom rested a hand on Embry’s arm… what hurt more though was the smile Embry gave the other man. Unable to stop himself he strode over to Embry and MSgt. Bloom.
“Ready to head home Em? We’ve got a bit of a drive ahead of us,” he said resting a hand on Embry’s shoulder. Quil hoped that using the nickname would be one of those memory triggers MSgt. Bloom had talked about.
Embry’s head turned and he looked up at Quil. He studied him, trying to remember, knowing he should know this man… but nothing but fog greeted him. The only thing he could remember about this guy was that his name was Quil. Embry’s hands clenched into fists in annoyance.
“Easy Em, don’t stress yourself, you’ll remember,” Quil assured him giving him a smile. “We’ll make sure of it.”
There it was… he almost had it… that smile! And it was gone. The memory slipped away at the last instant. Embry sighed, still staring at Quil, but his fists relaxed. “Yeah, I’m ready, it’s been a long day,” Embry said quietly.
Quil nodded and met MSgt. Bloom’s eyes as he stood. “Thanks,” he said grudgingly holding out his hand.
MSgt. Bloom took Quil’s hand, shaking it, his eyes widening at how warm Quil’s skin was. Quil pulled out of the handshake before Bloom could ask any questions. Taking hold of the handles of Embry’s wheelchair he pulled him away from the windows and back over to his mother. MSgt. Bloom could only watch as Quil pushed Embry away, Ms. Call giving him one final wave before she too followed her son and the other boy. When she caught up she rested a hand on Embry’s shoulder.
“I’m so happy you’re home Embry. I’m going to make all your favorite foods. I left your room pretty much the way it was except I cleaned it. I changed the sheets this morning so you would have fresh one’s to sleep on,” Ms. Call rattled on.
“Ms. Call…” Quil said softly glancing in the rear view mirror.
“You don’t have to worry about remembering everything at once. If you have any questions you just have to ask. I’ll get all the picture books out to show you and I’m sure Jacob and the other boys will be over sometime tomorrow. They’ve missed you nearly as much as I have.”
“Ms. Call,” Quil tried again.
“What?” She asked.
“Shh, he’s asleep.”
Ms. Call’s eyes widened and she turned to look back at her son. Sure enough Embry had stretched out, his head resting on his bag, his eyes closed and breathing even in sleep. “Oh.”
The rest of the drive home was silent aside from the occasional whimper from Embry. Quil figured it was one of the nightmares MSgt. Bloom had talked about but not a severe one. Once he pulled up in front of the Call house Quil got Embry out, he took a moment to marvel at how cool Embry felt against him and how light he was before carrying him up the porch steps and into the house while Ms. Call held the door open for him. Quil almost wanted to ask to stay… but he figured that would be pushing it.
“I’ll just get his bag from the truck and then head home,” Quil told Ms. Call quietly.
Ms. Call nodded as she went back to Embry’s room to tuck him in. “Thank you for everything Quil.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Embry?”
Embry blinked up at the ceiling at the sound of his name. For a moment he was disoriented and didn’t know where he was. The last he remembered he was in a hospital… no wait, that wasn’t right.
There had been a plane ride, a very long plane ride. And then… a woman with a loving smile… blinking lights and planes. Something else… what was he missing? Oh, getting in a truck and then… Embry let his eyes close again as he tried to remember. There had been a feeling of safety and warmth! For a moment he had felt so safe and warm.
“Embry?” This time a knock following the woman’s voice. His mother! That’s who that voice was. “Are you awake?” The door opened just enough for her to poke her head in and he turned his own to look at her.
“Yeah, I’m awake,” he answered.
Ms. Call beamed at her son and opened the door a bit further. “Good because Dr. Cullen is here to see you.”
Embry slowly sat up. “Dr. Cullen?” He questioned.
Ms. Call nodded. “MSgt. Bloom said you needed to be seen by a doctor here around home in a month but I wanted to know everything for myself so I called Dr. Cullen this morning, since it was his day off at the hospital he agreed to come out. He’s waiting in the living room,” she explained.
“Should I change?”
Ms. Call smiled as she came to help Embry stand. His movements where still a bit unsure so she supported him until he caught his balance. “I’m sure he won’t mind that you’re in your pajamas.”
“Okay,” Embry answered. Together they went out to the living room, Ms. Call keeping a firm grip on her son’s arm. Embry’s eyes widened when he saw the man standing in the middle of the living room. The tall blonde had to be one of the most handsome men he had ever seen. “That’s Dr. Cullen?” The man looked like he should be making movies!
The blonde smiled charmingly and held out his hand to Embry. “Dr. Carlisle Cullen, welcome home Embry.”
“Did you know me?” Embry questioned as he shook the other’s hand. His eyes widened at how cold the hand within his own was, much like MSgt. Bloom’s reaction to Quil’s hand.
“We have met before,” Carlisle answered. “You have lost quite a bit of weight since then. Please, have a seat and I will begin the examination. Your mother tells me that you have suffered some memory loss.”
Embry sat on the couch, watching Dr. Cullen’s actions wearily. He didn’t know what it was but something about this man put him on edge. It was like a deep feeling that…burned. But he pushed it back, Dr. Cullen had been nothing but nice to him and his mother. He had no reason to be suspicious of him…except for his freakishly cold hands. “Yeah,” he finally answered. “I can’t remember anything from the last five years and everything else comes and goes. When I first woke up in…”
“Berlin,” Ms. Call supplied.
“Berlin, I couldn’t remember how to talk.”
Carlisle nodded and gave Embry a simple physical before cutting the bandage away from his head. “This may hurt just a bit,” he stated as he tested the skin around the stitches in Embry’s head. The only reaction he measured from Embry was the tightening of his muscles and his hands clenching.
“The army doctors did a good job,” Carlisle said. “The stitches are clean with no sign of infection. Are you suffering from any headaches?”
“A few… when I get frustrated about not remembering something. And I have nightmares,” Embry answered.
“Nightmares?” Carlisle questioned.
“Oh! MSgt. Bloom gave me these pills at the airport. Embry takes one before bed,” Ms. Call said handing Carlisle the pill bottle.
Carlisle studied the bottle for a moment before nodding. “These are strong sleeping pills, they will help Embry to sleep through the nightmares he is having. Embry, do you remember any of your nightmares?”
“No, though I assume they are related to the war… I was told that I was a solider for two years. I’m sure bad stuff happened during those two years that I would rather not remember.”
“Of course, war is not an easy thing to forget. I have seen my share.”
Embry turned to look at him. “How old are you?”
Carlisle smiled. “Older than I look. Now, after I rewrap your injury I’m going to ask you ten questions. Your answers to these questions will help me gauge the extent of memory loss.”
“Alright,” Embry agreed worrying his bottom lip. He hoped he remembered the answers to these questions.
Carlisle asked Ms. Call to step out of the room while he asked the questions, not wanting her to be tempted to answer for Embry or being upset if he didn’t know the answer. Memory loss could be a very difficult process for families. Carlisle wanted to make this as easy for Embry and his mother as he could.
Pulling a clipboard with a series of questions on it out of his bag Carlisle settled at the other end of the couch. “We’ll start out with some easy questions and toward the end they will get harder,” Carlisle explained.
Embry took a deep breath and tried to relax. Carlisle started with a simple question, his full name. Embry didn’t remember his middle name but he did remember how old he was. By the eighth question he couldn’t remember anything. It frustrated him to no end! His hands clenched into fists and he could feel that heat pressing against him again.
Carlisle watched Embry closely. He knew from the loose friendship that had formed between the pack and his coven that anger often caused the shifter’s to phase. He didn’t want Embry phasing here inside the house, especially when he was still recovering. As he was about to speak the front door of the Call house opened and Jacob walked in.
“Yo Embry! I heard you got home last night but figured you needed to rest so I didn’t come by.” Jacob smiled as he walked over and sat beside Embry, he gave Carlisle a brief nod and smile which the vampire returned. Carlisle was impressed by how quickly Embry relaxed with Jacob near. “Quil and I just wanted to come by and see how you were this morning.” Carlisle met the eyes of the other shifter standing in the doorway of the room.
“Jacob,” Embry said with a smile.
Jacob’s grin widened and he squeezed Embry’s shoulder before looking back at Quil. He didn’t notice the hurt look in Quil’s eyes but Carlisle, who had been watching the other, did. “I thought you said he didn’t remember.”
“He doesn’t remember me,” Quil said quietly.
“Embry suffers from dissociative amnesia,” Carlisle stated as he put the clipboard back into his bag. Ms. Call returned to the living room as Carlisle said this. “It was caused by the trauma that resulted from the wound to Embry’s head.”
“Will he get better?” Ms. Call questioned.
“In time, I don’t see why he would not regain most, if not all his memories. But there is always a chance that some things will not return. Embry may also experience dissociative fugue,” Carlisle explained.
“What’s that?” Quil asked.
“Dissociative fugue is small bouts of amnesia, not serious and very rare but it is a possibility with an injury such as this.”
“So what should we do in the meantime?” Ms. Called wondered.
“Memories lost due to amnesia usually return when a person is surrounded by things that will remind them of those memories. Being in familiar places, among familiar people, looking at photos and letters, those sorts of things,” Carlisle answered.
“We can do that. We’re already planning a bonfire for the end of the week,” Jacob said with a smile.
“A bonfire?” Embry questioned.
“Oh yeah, we all get together and cook hot dogs and marshmallows and tell stories.”
“It’s the best!” Seth exclaimed as he came through the door. Embry blinked at the younger boy in confusion. Quil hated to admit it, but he was relieved that it looked like Embry didn’t remember Seth. He didn’t want to be the only one his lover didn’t remember.
“Who’re you?” Embry questioned.
Seth laughed. “Figures you wouldn’t remember the puppy of the pack!”
“The pack?” Embry asked looking even more confused.
“Seth,” Jacob stated and shook his head. “Embry was hurt, he has amnesia.”
Seth’s eyes widened. “Oh!”
“The pack is just a group of guys that hang out. We’re really close, like a wolf pack,” Quil explained. “We’re like brothers.”
“Yeah! It’s the best. And every now and then we have a bonfire and those rock because of the stories. The stories are amazing,” Seth told him smiling widely.
Embry returned the smile; something about Seth’s smile was infectious. “So when will the bonfire be?”
“Either Friday or Saturday night, we haven’t decided yet but I’ll let you know,” Jacob answered.
Embry nodded and turned to Carlisle. “Dr. Cullen, thank you for coming to have a look at me.”
“My pleasure Embry, take it easy for the next week or so. Call me if your sleeping pills don’t do the trick for your nightmares and if nothing else I’ll see you again in a month to see how your injury is healing.” Carlisle stood and nodded to Jacob again, who returned it. Embry thought it was weird that the doctor was paying so much attention to Jacob but he didn’t comment on it.
Once Carlisle had left everyone in the room started talking all at once. Embry found it very confusing, trying to keep up with all the conversations and voices at once. “Guys… guys!” Embry’s eyes went to the boy who had been with his mother the day before. “You’re confusing him.”
“How can you tell Quil?” Seth questioned.
Quil gave the younger boy a look. “Really Seth? You’re really asking me that?”
“Yeah, yeah, stupid question.”
“Why is it a stupid question?” Embry asked.
All eyes turned to him now and he shifted uncomfortably. “It just is Em,” Quil finally replied. That sad look was in his eyes again, Embry didn’t like that look.
“Boys, I think you should leave for today. I’m going to show Embry some pictures and old movies and then I think he should rest,” Ms. Call stated.
“I’d like to stay if you don’t mind Ms. Call,” Quil said. “I think I could help if he has any questions.”
“Claire not around today?”
“Her mom took her to Seattle for a mother daughter day.”
“Ohh. Sure, you can stay.”
“Thanks.”
Embry watched the conservation in confusion. Who was Claire? As with everything else he felt like he should remember her.
Embry was pulled out of his thoughts by a to warm hand on his shoulder. He turned his head to look at Jacob. “I’ll see ya later buddy,” Jacob told him with a smile. Embry nodded, returning the smile.
“Okay, thanks Jacob.”
“Jake.”
“Right… Jake.”
Jacob gave Embry’s shoulder one last squeeze before he stood and went to the door. Seth grinned and waved at Embry. “Bye Em!”
“Bye,” Embry replied his smile widening at the sight of Seth’s infectious smile.
Once Jacob and Seth had left Ms. Call went to look for the old movies and photo albums she kept. “Are you hungry Em?” Quil questioned.
Embry’s stomach answered for him by growling loudly. He knew he was blushing, he could feel it on his cheeks. “Yeah…”
Quil chuckled and nodded. “Anything sound good?”
“Whatever really.”
“Spaghetti it is then.” Quil disappeared into the kitchen. Embry heard him moving about and was curious as to how one made spaghetti. Standing he went to the kitchen doorway to watch. Quil looked up at him with a raised eyebrow. “What’s up?”
Embry shook his head. “I just don’t know… don’t remember how to make spaghetti… could I watch?”
Quil smiled. “Of course. C’ere and I’ll let you help me.”
Coming to stand next to Quil, Embry watched closely as he cooked the spaghetti and then the hamburger. Quil let him stir and keep moving the meat so it didn’t burn. Once all the ingredients were ready they cooked the sauce and then mixed everything together.
Embry smiled as they finished up. He was making spaghetti! And he was making it with Quil. Embry gave the other boy a wide grin as they waited for the bread to finish. Quil returned the smile and Embry felt something in his stomach. It was like… like… those little things you saw flying all over the place in the summer…
“Butterflies,” he murmured still looking at Quil.
Quil raised an eyebrow at the random word. “Butterflies? What about them?”
A blush lit up Embry’s cheeks and Quil chuckled. He bumped his hip against the other boy’s. “Don’t worry about it. The plates are in the cabinet to your right, you get them and I’ll get the bread.”
Embry nodded and got the plates. As he moved to the table he kept his eyes on Quil. There was something about the other boy… first the smile, and then the butterflies… but it felt like something deeper than that.
“I found them!” Ms. Call exclaimed coming into the kitchen. “Oh, you made…” She checked the clock, it was 10am. “…an early lunch?”
Quil laughed. “Spaghetti is good for any meal Ms. Call. What did you find?”
“I knew I had some really old photo albums from when Embry was a little boy around here. I found it under my bed. Have a seat on either side of me boys and we’ll go through them.”
“Sounds good, do you want any?” Quil asked.
“No thank you, I’m still full from my breakfast.” Ms. Call sat at the table and Embry sat next to her. Quil put the bread and spaghetti on the table before getting drinks and forks for he and Embry. Sitting on the other side of Ms. Call he waited until Embry had filled his plate before getting his own helping.
Quil and Embry ate as Ms. Call flipped through the pictures, talking about various memories. Embry remembered some things here and there but nothing really significant. “Quil!” He exclaimed suddenly. “That’s you!” Embry pointed at a picture, probably one of the first of them together.
Quil looked down at the picture and smiled. In it he and Embry each had an arm over the other’s shoulder’s, wide smiles on their young faces. It was then that he realized, in every picture, every single one, Embry was always watching him. He always had that loving, protective look in his eyes, even in the ones of them as children. It was the same look that he had come to love so much when they had gotten together before the imprint. It was the look Embry had yet to give him.
Quil swallowed hard and blinked back tears. If only he had listened to Embry… if only he hadn’t been so blinded by the imprint… none of this would have happened, Embry would still remember. Embry would still be giving him that look. “I have to go,” he stated.
Ms. Call and Embry gave him the same confused look. “What’s wrong?” Embry questioned.
Quil cleared his throat, hoping his sadness didn’t show in his voice. “Nothing’s wrong. I just remembered there’s some stuff I have to do for my grandfather. I’ll see you guys later.”
Embry opened his mouth to say something, to stop Quil from leaving, but nothing came out. He could only watch as Quil walked away. The action seemed familiar… he closed his eyes trying to bring the memory forward. All he got was snaps or flashes of that same image… Quil walking away. What had happened between them?
Three days later Quil yawned as he answered the phone. “Heeello?”
“Oh Quil! I’m so glad I got a hold of you!”
“Ms. Call?” He was immediately on alert. “Is it Embry? Did something happen? Is he hurt?”
“No, no, no, nothing like that. I got called into work and I don’t want to leave Embry alone. He’s been having horrible nightmares at night and I don’t want him to be alone if he wakes up after one. Could you come over and stay with him? Please?” Ms. Call asked.
Quil sighed softly. “Yeah, I’ll be there soon as I get dressed.” He wanted to be there for Embry but he also didn’t want to hurt him again. This was all his fault after all.
“Thank you Quil!”
“Yeah, no problem.”
Ms. Call was gone when Quil got to Embry’s house. The house itself was quiet and hadn’t changed much since he had last left it three days ago. One thing that had changed was that there were post-it notes everywhere. Quil walked up to one, reading the words on it. “Light switch, up is on, down is off.” Oh! This must have been a way Ms. Call was trying to help Embry remember.
Quil wondered through the rooms reading the various post it’s that were stuck to things. Some were just names and how things worked but others held memories. The ones with memories were in Embry’s neat hand while the other notes were in Ms. Call’s cursive. Quil smiled, so he was remembering, that was good.
A soft whimper caught Quil’s attention. Turning he listened closely. Another whimper, it was coming from Embry’s bedroom. Quil’s heart caught in his throat and he ran for Embry’s bedroom. The door crashed against the wall as he threw it open but the sound didn’t wake Embry. Quil’s heart started again as he realized that Embry was just having a nightmare, though it seemed like a very violent one from how much he was tossing and turning.
Going to the bed Quil sat on the edge and held Embry down by his shoulders, not wanting the other to hurt himself. “Em, Embry, wake up,” he said. “C’mon Em, it’s just a dream.”
“N-no! Don’t… shots fired… thirteen men down… no survivors… don’t walk away… reload!” Embry whimpered, his head still turning this way and that. He pushed against Quil’s hold but didn’t get far since Quil was stronger. “Quil don’t!”
The next words Quil had been planning to say died before he could get them out. Embry was having a nightmare…about him? Well him and a mixture of war it sounded like. But why was he in there? “Em, I’m here, don’t what?”
“Don’t!” Embry cried out again.
“Don’t what Em?”
“Don’t walk away!” Embry whimpered. “You always walk away…”
Quil sat on the couch in the Call living room, his hands folded together, pressed to his lips in a worried fashion. It had taken him five minutes to realize that Embry was still stuck in his nightmare, those five minutes he had just been frozen by Embry’s words. “You always walk away”. God! How could he have considered himself a good boyfriend at one point when he didn’t even realize how much he was hurting Embry?
The shower in the other room turned off and Embry appeared a few moments later wearing nothing but a pair of sleep pants. He held a towel in his hand which he was using to dry his hair. “Hey, you’re still here.”
“Yeah…” Quil was staring he knew. After phasing for the first time Embry’s muscles had been defined but after two years of not phasing one would expect that those muscles would have been lost. Not Embry’s though, no, of course being in the military probably had something to do with that. What also caught his eye were the scars… one on Embry’s shoulder and one jagged line on his left side. “Your mom asked me to stay with you.” Quil stood and came to stand in front of Embry. “Em… do you remember how you got these?” He lightly touched the shoulder scar and then the one on his left side.
Embry looked down following his fingers. His eyebrows went together in confusion. He was trying to remember; surely one would remember where they got scars wouldn’t they? “Looks like… a bullet and a knife wound… but no, I don’t actually remember them.”
“You never told me about these,” Quil whispered. Now Embry’s look of confusion was focused on him. “We wrote each other letters. You never mentioned these in them.”
“Maybe I had them before I left?” Embry suggested.
“No, you didn’t,” Quil assured him. “I know you didn’t.” He knew Embry’s body better than that.
“Oh, well I don’t know. I guess it’ll come back in time. Must not have been too important if I didn’t mention them in my letters.”
‘Or you just didn’t want to worry me… you were taking care of me… even from over there…’ Quil thought.
“Hey, are you hungry?” Embry questioned.
“Huh? Oh, yeah, I can always eat.”
“Great! My mom showed me how to make pancakes. I have my notes for them in here…” Embry said as he walked into the kitchen. He picked up a small notebook and showed Quil the directions he had written down.
‘Meticulous as ever,’ Quil thought in amusement. “Great, I’ll just sit here at the table and watch. If you need me just say so.”
“Will do.”
The phone rang as Embry washed the dishes from their breakfast. “Quil would you get that?” He asked holding up his soapy hands.
“Sure.” Quil went to the phone and answered it, “Call residence.”
“Quilly!”
Quil blinked in surprise. “Claire-bear?”
“Yup! It’s me!”
“How did you know I was at Embry’s?” He questioned.
“I tried your house and Ol’ Quil said you had gone over there. Aunt Emily gave me the number. Its okay I called right?”
Quil smiled. “Yeah, it’s fine. I was just surprised.”
“Oh well surprise!”
Quil laughed. “Did you need something Claire-bear?”
“Not really.” He could just see her sitting in the chair under Sam and Emily’s phone, kicking her feet. “Are you coming over today?”
“I can if you want me to.” Quil glanced at Embry, who was trying hard to look like he wasn’t listening. Quil smiled as he leaned against the wall. “If Embry can come too.”
“Course I do! And yeah, bring Embry; it’ll be fun to meet him!” There was a pause and then… “Again!”
Quil chuckled. “Alright, we’ll be over soon okay?”
“Kay! Bye Quilly!”
“Bye Claire-bear.” Quil hung up the phone and looked back at Embry who was drying the last plate in the sink. “Clair would like us to come over for awhile. Are you feeling up to it?”
“Claire? You guys sound…close,” Embry said as he put the dishes up.
“You could say that. Claire is Emily’s, who is married to Sam, niece. I help babysit her when she’s around, we’ve become really attached.”
“Did I know her before?” Embry questioned.
“Yeah,” Quil answered.
“Does she remember me?”
“Vaguely. She’s six so she was four when you left. She remembers that we used to hang out at Sam and Emily’s sometimes.”
“Oh.” Well at least he wouldn’t need to worry about offending the little girl by not remembering her.
“So do you want to go?”
“Sure, it’ll be nice to get out of this house for a bit,” Embry replied. “I’ll just go get dressed.”
“I’ll be waiting,” Quil agreed. Watching Embry go back to his room Quil could only think about how many times he had watched Embry get dressed. All the mornings before school… lying on Embry’s bed basking in the afterglow… Quil sighed and shook his head. It did no good to think about it now.
Embry laughed at the joke Quil had just told him. They were walking down the hill to a house that looked a lot like the other houses on the reservation, but with more trees. Quil was smiling at his reaction to his joke and Embry loved that smile. It gave him those butterflies again.
The door of the house they were approaching was thrown open and a little girl ran out. “Quilly!”
Quil’s smile widened and was no longer directed at him, but to the little girl. This must be Claire. Embry held back, watching as Quil caught the little girl and tossed her into the air. Claire squealed as Quil caught her and spun them both around. Her little arms were wrapped around Quil’s neck, a huge smile on her face. Embry’s butterflies disappeared, in fact now his stomach felt heavy instead of light. He also became aware that his hands had clenched into fists. He didn’t know why he was reacting this way…
“I missed you!” Claire exclaimed as Quil set her down.
Quil rolled his eyes in amusement and stroked her hair fondly. “You saw me two days ago.”
“Well that’s a really long time!”
“I guess it is,” Quil agreed. He then remembered Embry and turned to look back at the other boy. There was a curious look on Embry’s face, Quil couldn’t place it. “Claire, this is Embry.”
Claire realized for the first time that there was another boy with Quil. She stepped closer and behind Quil so that she was only peeking out from behind him. Embry was taller than Quil, though not as tall as she remembered. Claire’s hold on Quil’s shorts tightened at the look on Embry’s face. It wasn’t scary… or angry… just blank.
“Claire-bear, this is Embry.” Claire looked up as Quil spoke. There was something in his voice that she had never heard before; it was similar to the voice Quil used when he was talking to her but different somehow. “Embry, this is Claire.”
Quil’s voice cut through his thoughts. Embry looked down at the little girl who looked so scared or just really shy, he wasn’t sure which it was. He smiled and kneeled down so that he was eye level with her. “Hey Claire. How are you today?”
Claire hid her face against Quil’s leg. “Hey now Claire-bear, Embry won’t hurt you. He’s probably the nicest person you’ll ever meet.”
“Nu-uh! That’s you,” she replied.
Quil chuckled. “Just the same, why don’t you say hi?”
Claire looked back at Embry, his face flashing through her memory. She gasped, her eyes widening. “It’s you! But you don’t look sad now.”
Embry cocked his head to the side and looked confused. “Sad?”
“Mm! Last time I saw you, you looked sad,” she stated.
“Huh… well if I was sad then I’m glad I don’t remember that. I don’t like to be sad, do you?” He asked.
Claire shook her head. “Nope, I would much rather be happy.”
Embry smiled again and offered his hand. “Well how about we make some memories? Would that make you happy?”
“With Quilly too?”
Embry looked up at Quil and his smile widened. “With Quilly too.”
At the end of the week, Saturday, Embry found himself excited. Tonight was the night of the bonfire that Jacob had mentioned earlier that week. Claire had been so excited about it that she had talked of almost nothing but. Her excitement had rubbed off on him, now he was just waiting for Quil to come and show him where the bonfire would be.
A knock came at his bedroom door and Embry pulled his shirt over his head as he turned. “Quil’s here,” Ms. Call told him.
“Why didn’t he come tell me that?” Embry questioned.
“Claire’s with him, he didn’t want to leave her alone in the car.”
“Oh.” Embry nodded, his stomach did that odd clenching thing again. “That makes sense.”
“What time will you be home?” Ms. Call asked.
“…I don’t know, how long do these bonfires usually last?”
“Til midnight or better,” she answered.
“Then midnight or after I guess.”
Ms. Call nodded and walked out to Quil’s car with Embry. She gave Claire a friendly smile as Embry slid into the passenger seat. “You’re going to take care of my boy aren’t you Quil?”
“Always Ms. Call,” Quil assured her.
“I’ll watch out for Emry too!” Claire stated.
Ms. Call laughed softly. “I appreciate it sweetie. Have a good time.” She watched Quil drive away, waving when Embry did.
“Tell a story Jake!” Seth urged.
“You’ve heard them all Seth,” Jacob replied leaning back against the log that they had placed on the beach. Everyone had eaten their fill of hot dogs and chips, now they were finishing off the s’mores.
“Aw c’mon! You gotta know at least one more!”
Jacob snorted and shook his head as he placed his hands behind his head. “Tell the one about the spirit warriors.” Jacob glanced over at Quil, who had spoken. He raised an eyebrow in question and glanced at Embry who was putting a s’more together. Meeting Quil’s eyes again the other boy just nodded.
“Alright, spirit warriors it is.” Jacob stared up at the stars for a moment, letting the sound of the waves crashing against the beach build the anticipation. “The Quileutes have been a small people from the beginning. And we are a small people still, but we have never disappeared. This is because there had always been magic in our blood. It wasn’t always the magic of shape-shifting – that came later. First, we were spirit warriors.”
Jacob’s voice was captivating, much like Billy’s had been for the rest of them years before. Embry found himself entranced by the story, his s’more long forgotten. He could feel something deep within him responding to the story, though he had no idea what it was.
“Claire-bear, you have chocolate all over your face.” Embry looked over to where Quil was sitting near him, cleaning Claire’s face off. That deep feeling was replaced with his stomach clenching again. Embry’s eyes widened as he realized what it was. Jealousy. He was jealous of the attention Quil paid to Claire.
‘That should be me…’ He thought, his fists clenching.
“Oh! Emry! This is for you,” Claire said once her face was clean. He looked at her, fighting his anger down. Embry watched as she dug into the little purse she was carrying. Finally she pulled out a picture and handed it to him. “I found it in one of Aunt Emmy’s picture books t’day.”
Embry took the picture with a small smile. He looked down at it and froze. The picture was of him and Quil. Embry’s eyes widened and his grip on the picture tightened. They were kissing. Not a friendly, joking sort of kiss, but a full on, heated kiss. In the picture Embry had his hands on Quil’s cheeks; almost looking like he was pulling him into the kiss but that wasn’t so because Quil’s arms were wrapped around his neck. Embry felt that anger burn through him again and he looked at Quil sharply as he stood.
“Why didn’t you tell me?!” He hissed.
Jacob stopped his story as Embry stood. “Em?”
Embry ignored him, his eyes locked on Quil. “Why!”
“Why what?” Quil asked, having not seen the picture.
“This!” Embry thrust the picture to him. He was shaking. He could feel something inside him burning, clawing, trying to force its way out. Embry pushed it down, whatever it was, needing to hear the answer first.
Quil took the picture, noticing Embry’s shaking hand. He glanced at Jacob as he moved Claire to the opposite side of the fire. Jacob stood, ready to help should something happen. Quil finally looked down at the picture and his eyes widened. He remembered when this had been taken, Seth had taken it actually, it had been at his birthday, the one before he imprinted.
Embry had come up behind him, tapped him on the shoulder. When he had turned Embry had grabbed him and pulled him into a kiss. His automatic reaction had been to wrap his arms around Embry’s neck returning the kiss. It had been that Seth had snapped the picture.
“Why didn’t you tell me?!” Embry demanded. “Why didn’t any of you!”
“We didn’t want to upset you Em…” Jacob said softly as he came up behind Quil.
“Well a good fucking job you’ve done! You lied to me!” Emily covered Claire’s ears at Embry’s language, not that she blamed him.
“We didn’t…” Quil started.
“No! Fuck you. Fuck you, and you, and the rest of you! You’ve all been keeping secrets from me!” It was then it happened. Something inside Embry snapped. He screamed as the thing that had been clawing at him from the inside finally broke loose.
The gray wolf with black spots growled at them, eyes full of anger as pieces of Embry’s clothes fell around him. He threw his head back and howled before taking off into the night.
“We have to go after him, he could hurt himself,” Jacob stated already pulling his shirt off. Quil nodded and glanced back.
“Someone take Claire home.” With that a russet brown wolf and a chocolate one ran off into the darkness after Embry.
A/N: The sequel to this story will be titled “Blindsided” it will be written by
starry_nights88. "Blindsided" is now posted! Follow the link to read it.
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no subject
Date: 2010-08-19 11:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-19 02:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-24 07:32 pm (UTC)Seth took a picture? And never showed it to either boy? Finding Claire's reaction odd, like she knows Embry loves Quil. Where's her possessiveness? But the picture was enough to push Embry into shifting.
Now will it be enough to restore Embry's memory?
no subject
Date: 2010-08-24 11:49 pm (UTC)Seth took the picture. Yeah, he showed it to them but Embry didn't remember it and Quil didn't think about it. She does know Embry loves Quil, though not as love, she knows they are important to each other.
You'll have to wait for "Blindsided" and see.