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"What we think, or what we know, or what we believe is, in the end, of little consequence. The only consequence is what we do." - John Ruskin
The school year started what seems so long ago when in truth it has only been 9 very short months. A lot has happened in those 9 months, and I mean A LOT.
When this year first started I didn't think that Laura and I would ever truly be friends but now I cannot understand how we were ever not friends. I adore Laura so much, she makes me smile constantly and even though she has a boyfriend now... I know that in a true emergency she will be there for me.
Kelly left at Christmas and I have gone through my bouts of her forgetting me but after my last rant we had a serious, pretty long talk and I think things are okay now. I value Kel's friendship and it's something I never want to lose. I'm supposed to go to her house this weekend so we can watch the 2nd and 3rd of the Love Comes Softly series.
My favorite class this semester was Death & Dying hands down. I am so sad to see it over I almost really want to cry. I learned so much in there and will miss going to class greatly. I turned in my funeral assignment and recieved the grade of 100% on it, for which I was thrilled. Each eulogy that my friends wrote touched me deeply and I know that I am truly lucky to have them.
I am finally committed to getting my teaching degree in English so that I can go to grad school and get my Master's in Library Science. I never ever really want to teach but it is a price I have to pay to become the school librarian that I want. I look forward to when that day comes.
Ever since I completed my funeral Laura has been on my case to make two confessions that I have been holding in for a long time, well one for a long time, the other only recently (as in the last year). The first has to do with my friend Richard, some would call him my "sweetheart" although we have never dated and fight like cats and dogs. When I started my funeral I was going to be married to Richard and Laura asked me about who he was. So I told her the whole story. Richard moved to Kentucky when we were in the 2nd or 3rd grade. I thought he was so cool, him being from New York since I had always wanted to go there (he's really from Rhode Island). We followed each other around the playground and played "dinosaur's" together. All through school neither of us offered to be anything other than friends. In 11th grade for my birthday (which is also his, he's like 8 minutes older than me) he grew me a rose that he had bred just for me. Senior year I had just gotten up the courage to ask him to prom, we were talking about it when he said he wouldn't ever be caught dead at prom. I felt so let down but quickly changed the subject and hid my feelings. I had gotten very good at this over the years, especially after another crush of mine had never verbally turned me down but had ignored me. Richard and I go to seperate colleges... but we still talk now and then. I still like him but I don't know if I can ever tell him.
Now the second confession. It all has to do with one name and one name alone. Brandon. I'm sure anyone who actually reads this will remember be mentioning him once or twice. He's the boy I met in Walmart my first day as a freshman at UC, the first friend I made, the first college crush I had. There have been a lot of first's with Brandon but none when it comes to the relationship stage. I have never come flat out and told Brandon that I like him. But I am doing so now, Brandon, I LIKE YOU. Hell I think I may even love you. If you read this and return no feelings whatsoever then just don't say anything and we will go along as if nothing was ever said, just don't think that that will stop my feeling for you because it won't. Believe me I have tried every way I know to stop liking you but in the end I only end up liking you more. Just please do not stop talking to me. That has happened to many times in the past and I don't want to lose one of my best friends over something that can be considered as silly as feelings. When you sent me your eulogy for my funeral and said that we had gotten married my heart soared, I wanted to cry. I know it will probably never happen but hey, a girl can dream.
I have learned a lot from my relationship with Brandon. It's always up to girls to pinpoint a song as "THEIR" song and I think I have finally found the one that describes my feelings for Brandon perfectly. The song is "Foolish Games" by Jewel.
( Lyrics )
-Takes a deep breath- Wow... I feel so light now that I have that off my chest... light and nervous.
Moving onto this summer, I am working for the Department of Mental Health for the state department of Kentucky in Frankfort. $10 an hour! Hell yes! I'm also looking forward to spending time with my friends. I cannot wait for the HC fair! I want to go to the freak'n fair so badly... not really sure why either, I never used to look forward to it this much.
-raises Pepsi- Here's to a great year, may this summer rock and may next year be even better!
The school year started what seems so long ago when in truth it has only been 9 very short months. A lot has happened in those 9 months, and I mean A LOT.
When this year first started I didn't think that Laura and I would ever truly be friends but now I cannot understand how we were ever not friends. I adore Laura so much, she makes me smile constantly and even though she has a boyfriend now... I know that in a true emergency she will be there for me.
Kelly left at Christmas and I have gone through my bouts of her forgetting me but after my last rant we had a serious, pretty long talk and I think things are okay now. I value Kel's friendship and it's something I never want to lose. I'm supposed to go to her house this weekend so we can watch the 2nd and 3rd of the Love Comes Softly series.
My favorite class this semester was Death & Dying hands down. I am so sad to see it over I almost really want to cry. I learned so much in there and will miss going to class greatly. I turned in my funeral assignment and recieved the grade of 100% on it, for which I was thrilled. Each eulogy that my friends wrote touched me deeply and I know that I am truly lucky to have them.
I am finally committed to getting my teaching degree in English so that I can go to grad school and get my Master's in Library Science. I never ever really want to teach but it is a price I have to pay to become the school librarian that I want. I look forward to when that day comes.
Ever since I completed my funeral Laura has been on my case to make two confessions that I have been holding in for a long time, well one for a long time, the other only recently (as in the last year). The first has to do with my friend Richard, some would call him my "sweetheart" although we have never dated and fight like cats and dogs. When I started my funeral I was going to be married to Richard and Laura asked me about who he was. So I told her the whole story. Richard moved to Kentucky when we were in the 2nd or 3rd grade. I thought he was so cool, him being from New York since I had always wanted to go there (he's really from Rhode Island). We followed each other around the playground and played "dinosaur's" together. All through school neither of us offered to be anything other than friends. In 11th grade for my birthday (which is also his, he's like 8 minutes older than me) he grew me a rose that he had bred just for me. Senior year I had just gotten up the courage to ask him to prom, we were talking about it when he said he wouldn't ever be caught dead at prom. I felt so let down but quickly changed the subject and hid my feelings. I had gotten very good at this over the years, especially after another crush of mine had never verbally turned me down but had ignored me. Richard and I go to seperate colleges... but we still talk now and then. I still like him but I don't know if I can ever tell him.
Now the second confession. It all has to do with one name and one name alone. Brandon. I'm sure anyone who actually reads this will remember be mentioning him once or twice. He's the boy I met in Walmart my first day as a freshman at UC, the first friend I made, the first college crush I had. There have been a lot of first's with Brandon but none when it comes to the relationship stage. I have never come flat out and told Brandon that I like him. But I am doing so now, Brandon, I LIKE YOU. Hell I think I may even love you. If you read this and return no feelings whatsoever then just don't say anything and we will go along as if nothing was ever said, just don't think that that will stop my feeling for you because it won't. Believe me I have tried every way I know to stop liking you but in the end I only end up liking you more. Just please do not stop talking to me. That has happened to many times in the past and I don't want to lose one of my best friends over something that can be considered as silly as feelings. When you sent me your eulogy for my funeral and said that we had gotten married my heart soared, I wanted to cry. I know it will probably never happen but hey, a girl can dream.
I have learned a lot from my relationship with Brandon. It's always up to girls to pinpoint a song as "THEIR" song and I think I have finally found the one that describes my feelings for Brandon perfectly. The song is "Foolish Games" by Jewel.
( Lyrics )
-Takes a deep breath- Wow... I feel so light now that I have that off my chest... light and nervous.
Moving onto this summer, I am working for the Department of Mental Health for the state department of Kentucky in Frankfort. $10 an hour! Hell yes! I'm also looking forward to spending time with my friends. I cannot wait for the HC fair! I want to go to the freak'n fair so badly... not really sure why either, I never used to look forward to it this much.
-raises Pepsi- Here's to a great year, may this summer rock and may next year be even better!
