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Dear God,
This may be in fact one of the hardest prayers I have ever made. Normally I believe that a prayer is something that is private between just myself and You but I am depressed, stressed, and I feel that I need not only Your but also my friends support. So I hope You don’t mind but I will be posting this on my LJ and on Myspace so that my preferred friends can read it.
Over the past three years my relationship with You has not been the greatest. I have neglected going to church, and slackened on my prayers to You. It has seemed that I only come to You when I need something and I hate that feeling. I want the type of relationship that I see some of my friends have with You. I know that there is a reason for everything so maybe this time has just been a test.
This past semester I had the class Old Testament, at first I thought it was going to be horrible because I never really cared for reading the Bible other than Psalms and Revelation. But to my surprise I found the class wonderful and amazing. As we studied Your word I found myself regaining pieces of what had been missing. It was a slow journey but now I feel that I have a new outlook on life and a better understanding of things. I want to take the New Testament class, even though I don’t need it, so that I might become the person and Christian that I have always wanted.
My mind races with questions of things that are right and wrong. And I, as I’m sure many do, wish there was a 1-800-CALL-GOD hotline where we could call you if we ever had a question. I often wonder how far is to far, just how far can I push my limits before You turn away from me Lord? Can a person live a full life of sin and then on their death bed put full faith and trust in Jesus Christ and still go to Heaven?
Lately I have been so scared… I know You already know why because I have prayed about it. Even now, after I’ve prayed and talked with a couple of my good friend’s about this it is still hard to put into words. My dad, who is very special to me, has a condition that isn’t very serious, but requires him to get a check up like very six months. Well he went for his check up last Friday… the doctor found a spot on his lung. My dad has never smoked a single cigarette in his life, but he lives with my mom who is a smoker even if she is not a big one. When mom told me on Saturday morning I started to cry. I’ve had dreams before where my dad dies, where he isn’t there to walk me down the aisle or give me away at my wedding, to play with his grandchildren… Mom told me not to be upset because she is pretty sure that dad had pneumonia a couple of years back and he’s never gotten rid of the cough and all that coughing will leave scar tissue on anyone’s lungs. I just looked back at her and said, “It’s kind of hard to not be upset about something like this.” I’m sure that the moment we find out… hopefully good… there will either be this wave of relief or dread.
God… please be with my dad, please let him be okay and let him stay that way.
A few of my friends have also been going through some tough times; their minds are full of questions. Please give me the patience and knowledge to help them, but also, please be the guiding force in their lives.
In Jesus’s name,
Amen.
This may be in fact one of the hardest prayers I have ever made. Normally I believe that a prayer is something that is private between just myself and You but I am depressed, stressed, and I feel that I need not only Your but also my friends support. So I hope You don’t mind but I will be posting this on my LJ and on Myspace so that my preferred friends can read it.
Over the past three years my relationship with You has not been the greatest. I have neglected going to church, and slackened on my prayers to You. It has seemed that I only come to You when I need something and I hate that feeling. I want the type of relationship that I see some of my friends have with You. I know that there is a reason for everything so maybe this time has just been a test.
This past semester I had the class Old Testament, at first I thought it was going to be horrible because I never really cared for reading the Bible other than Psalms and Revelation. But to my surprise I found the class wonderful and amazing. As we studied Your word I found myself regaining pieces of what had been missing. It was a slow journey but now I feel that I have a new outlook on life and a better understanding of things. I want to take the New Testament class, even though I don’t need it, so that I might become the person and Christian that I have always wanted.
My mind races with questions of things that are right and wrong. And I, as I’m sure many do, wish there was a 1-800-CALL-GOD hotline where we could call you if we ever had a question. I often wonder how far is to far, just how far can I push my limits before You turn away from me Lord? Can a person live a full life of sin and then on their death bed put full faith and trust in Jesus Christ and still go to Heaven?
Lately I have been so scared… I know You already know why because I have prayed about it. Even now, after I’ve prayed and talked with a couple of my good friend’s about this it is still hard to put into words. My dad, who is very special to me, has a condition that isn’t very serious, but requires him to get a check up like very six months. Well he went for his check up last Friday… the doctor found a spot on his lung. My dad has never smoked a single cigarette in his life, but he lives with my mom who is a smoker even if she is not a big one. When mom told me on Saturday morning I started to cry. I’ve had dreams before where my dad dies, where he isn’t there to walk me down the aisle or give me away at my wedding, to play with his grandchildren… Mom told me not to be upset because she is pretty sure that dad had pneumonia a couple of years back and he’s never gotten rid of the cough and all that coughing will leave scar tissue on anyone’s lungs. I just looked back at her and said, “It’s kind of hard to not be upset about something like this.” I’m sure that the moment we find out… hopefully good… there will either be this wave of relief or dread.
God… please be with my dad, please let him be okay and let him stay that way.
A few of my friends have also been going through some tough times; their minds are full of questions. Please give me the patience and knowledge to help them, but also, please be the guiding force in their lives.
In Jesus’s name,
Amen.
